YOU HAVE HIGH LEVEL OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE(EQ)

“Congratulations! You have high emotional intelligence. This is good news! EQ counts for twice as much as IQ and technical skills combined in determining who will be a star performer. Your level of EQ likely has been and will be a driver of your high performance under pressure for years to come”

These were my results when I recently did an online Emotional Intelligence (EQ) test. But it has not always been like this. I remember the first time I did the test I scored low-mid range EQ. However, being one who is interested in developing others I cannot afford to take lightly my EQ. I, therefore, took some steps towards improving my EQ. The first thing I did was to increase my self-awareness i.e. giving attention to how my thoughts and my feelings are related. For example, I observed that it makes me sad when my values are compromised. Next I learned how to label my feelings and their root emotions; being able to pinpoint what I feel and establish which emotion initiated that feeling. This includes paying attention to how often I experience the feeling/emotion. For instance feeling sad because my values have been compromised does not necessarily mean I am bored. This was followed by seeking to understand what triggers certain emotions; is it because certain values were not honored or is it due to unmet expectations? This helped me to reduce the threshold of my triggers, for instance reviewing my expectations or setting boundaries. As a result I was able to reduce on my impulse responses and decrease my later regrets. I also discovered that talking about or doing something about my feelings is very healthy. On the other hand bottling these feelings is unhealthy. I have learned to use my voice in a healthy assertive way to protect my values, beliefs, wants and needs while remaining respectful and positive. Most importantly and what I would refer to as the icing on the cake is learning to regulate my emotional responses and allowing myself time to choose among alternative options. To mention just a few, what has worked for me here include; pausing before responding, exploring different options, distracting myself with something more pleasant, e.g a hobby, and asking for help. I have learned to appreciate that it is ok not to know and asking for help is not a weakness.

One of observation I have made over time is that the higher one’s level of emotional intelligence (EQ) the closer they are to living life to their full potential. As William James said: “I have no doubt whatsoever that most people live, whether physically, intellectually, or morally, in a very restricted circle of their potential being…We all have reservoirs of life to draw upon, of which we do not dream.”

Reflection

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls-Prov 25:28

Mary Kamore is the Lead Consultant M_OliveS Mentors