QUESTIONING & LISTENING SKILLS

In my mentoring experience I have found myself in a situation where the mentee wants to talk to me about a difficult or an uncomfortable issue. In such a situation questioning plays an important role in helping to encourage the mentee to reflect back over the situation and think about potential resolutions or behavior changes. Effective questioning though important in many aspects of our lives is of a particular significance when it comes to your role as a mentor. Being able to ask the right questions at the right time and in the right way will help you and your mentee talk about what’s going on and help you in guiding a conversation in the direction that’s required. If you ask the wrong questions, you’ll probably get the wrong answer, or at least not quite what you’re hoping for! Appropriate questions can trigger reasoning, creativity and other higher level thinking skills.

I have also learned that when you ask questions it is important to try not to ask more than one question at a time so that the other person has time to respond to it. Furthermore if you make it a habit to ask question in every conversation you improve your listening skills. Active listening like questioning is another core skill for being an effective mentor. Active listening is a technique where you completely concentrate on what is being said and observe non-verbal cues like body language. You listen with all your senses without being judgmental. Some active listening techniques include; maintaining good eye contact, being fully present, asking open ended questions, reflecting what you hear, being patient and paying attention to non-verbal cues.

I fully agree with M. Scott Peck “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time”. Would you, then, make a choice to be intentional in developing your questioning and listening skills?

Reflection
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19

Mary Kamore is the Lead Consultant M_OliveS Mentors