‘DON’T QUIT’, GO AHEAD AND FAIL!

I was once very good at riding a bicycle. That was when I was way young, at about 10 years of age. At our home, then, it was common for us to use bicycles to run errands like fetching water, picking groceries from the market or just move from one place to another including going to school. I really loved it because it was also prestigious in the village to be riding a bicycle instead of walking. One day as I was running one of those errands I accidentally fell and got hurt. The accident left me with scars on both hands and one of my legs. It wasn’t so bad, though, so healing was quick. Something else happened; the accident left me with a scar of shame that took so long to heal. You see, when I fell there were people nearby and a few boys in their midst laughed so loudly that their laughter remained fresh in my mind long after. It also happened that each time I met those boys they could laugh and that added salt to the injury. I made a resolve then never to touch a bicycle again. And true to my words I developed phobia for bicycles and have never confidently used one since then.

This experience reminds me what happens to us all the time; Fear of failure. Failure often brings with it shame, and we hate the feeling it brings. Shame cracks the delicate stained glass portrait of our “self” that our ego has so painstakingly created. We might also feel inadequate after a failure, thinking that the people around us might see us as “lesser”. That thought doesn’t sit well with our ego. Another crack in the glass. It is no wonder then that trying again after failure sometimes cause us so much emotional trauma. While fear is part of human nature, Fear of failure can be so strong that avoiding failure conceals the motivation to succeed. Insecurity about doing things incorrectly causes us to unconsciously sabotage our chances for success. Fear can hold you back and hence the need to urgently do something about it.

To eliminate the fear of failure it is important first and foremost to understand and appreciate that at times you will fail. Realize that you are human and humans make mistake. Before any of us learned how to walk, we crawled. We got up, fell down, got up again and continued the process until we could walk. Secondly don’t take failure personally. Instead view it as a stepping stone. Make certain to learn from it and then apply what you have learned to future situations. Refuse to consider it as a character flaw or weakness. Thirdly remember that ‘failure’ has produced many successes. Consider how many people in history had failed before they became successful. Albert Einstein, the brilliant physicist, was advised by his teacher to quit school because; “Einstein, you will never amount to anything!” while Henry Ford’s first two automobile companies failed. Lastly believe in yourself. Rather than giving up when things don’t work out, take it as an opportunity to build perseverance and resolve. Know that you have got what it takes to work through those obstacles and hard times. Please ‘Don’t quit’, Go ahead and fail!
And for me? I am definitely going back to my love for the bicycle!

Reflection
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind-2Timothy 1:7
Mary Kamore is the Lead Consultant M_OliveS Mentors