MENTORING MATTERS

 A few days ago I had a chance to do what I love most-training mentors. This was not an ordinary group of participants but a group of youth, 30 years and below, who are interested in changing the lives of other youths within their circle of influence, thanks to ELNET-Ethical Leaders Network (ELNET) which exists to influence leaders both in the corporate and religious circles towards Godly transformation. As I conducted this training via zoom, which is the ‘new normal’, I was excited not just because these are youths who have decided to step out of the ordinary but also because of their resolve -the current crisis notwithstanding. Their presence in this virtual learning moment was clear proof of their determination.

My topic for the day, ‘Qualities of a good mentor’ is what I want to share with you this weekend.

What is mentoring?; While it is very difficult to provide an authoritative definition of mentoring, I will give a very basic definition of what mentoring is; ‘Mentorship refers to a relational experience in which one empowers another by sharing God given resources (Knowledge, skills, experience etc)’. Mentoring is intentional, empowering and unique.

“A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could” Zig Ziglar

Biblical Basis for mentoring; Several verses in the Bible help us to appreciate that mentoring matters. We look at just but a few of these verses.

• 2 Timothy 2:2 (NIV); ‘And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others’.
• 1 Thessalonians 2:8 (NIV); ‘So we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well’.
• Proverbs 13:20 (NIV); Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.

So what are the qualities of a good mentor?

First understand that you are unique and so your mentoring will be unique. There are however, key characteristic and behaviors that build a foundation for good mentoring.

1. Be Godly; As a mentor you should be one that reminds your mentee about Jesus. Let the quality of your life call them back to connection with Christ. How?

• Desire to be a true disciple of Christ; If you are to promote the work of Christ in another’s life, then you should be pursuing the same goal yourself.
• Be settled in God; Have deep satisfaction in keeping company with God. Your life should be secure, unthreatened and a source of deep joy.
• Be anchored in the Bible; Godly mentors are at peace with the Bible.
• Sensitive to the Holy spirit; This gives you a desire to not only live a life that pleases God but you are also able to identify what the Lord is doing in your mentee’s life.

2. Open communication & Information sharing; Make contact regular and meaningful, establish a pattern of mutual information exchange
3. Trustworthiness & Confidentiality; Be trusted with information
4. Respect & approachability; Let them know you respect their time and opinion-acknowledge their skills’ and progress. Be available and interested.
5. Appropriate feedback; Let them know how you feel in a gentle and respectful manner. Timely, assertive, empathetic and honest communication is very important.
6. Technical expertise; Remain up to date and current with your own knowledge.
7. Commitment & Supportive; Invest enough time in the relationship .Work on being motivating, encouraging, positive and empowering.
8. Desire to help; Make sure you are genuinely interested in helping someone else, without a promise of help in return.

While the above list does not exhaust all the qualities of a good mentor it communicates a number of things to your mentee;

• She/he is valuable enough for you to spend time with.
• That you will be honest with him/her
• That you are engaged and supportive of his/her development and success.
• Most importantly that you are ready to help him/her identify, and promote the work of God’s spirit in their lives assisting them to access God’s resources for their growth and development.

Remember mentoring is a two way Street-both mentor and the mentee benefit from the relationship- long life relationship and mutual growth.